Boyhood (2014)

Warning:  Strong Coffee Required

"... a scintillating, sizzling explosion of cinematic fireworks; a dazzling, dizzying, break-neck roller coaster ride that leaves you breathless and thunderstruck."

That excerpt from a review would apply to a typical Ingmar Bergman offering when stacked up against "Boyhood."

"Boyhood" of course, is not an action packed film, nor is it an exciting one. It is best described as the work of a great painter. No, not Picasso or Modigliani, but more like Bob from Bob's Painting and Drywall. Bob may do a wonderful job on your walls, but I don't expect you'll want to spend much time sitting in a chair staring at his final product.

Yes, this is a well made film, and some of the acting - particularly that of Ethan Hawke - is fine, but what can you say about a movie that serves up such original lines as "I'm glad you were born" and "Don't forget to floss"?

I should also mention the performance of Ellar Coltrane who plays the main character Mason. Coltrane's lethargic acting immensely adds to the soporific qualities of this film. He really could have benefited from a few cups of espresso before stepping in front of the camera. In fact, I also recommend a good shot of caffeine for anyone intent on watching this.

Writer/director Richard Linklater apparently uses Turtle Pacing Technology, a revolutionary new technique wherein a film that takes twelve years to make somehow also manages to make the audience feel as if they have just spent an equal amount of time in their theater seats.

This new technology should have been nominated for a Scientific and Technical Award Oscar. Incidentally, the Academy's Sci-Tech awards are no longer broadcast on television due to the fact that they are "too exciting" according to Richard Linklater.

So if you are in the mood for cavalierly tossing aside nearly three hours of your adulthood, then by all means have a look at "Boyhood."

Rating: 5/10