The Blind Side (2009)

The Papaya of Football Movies

Oh, me and my decisions!

When I heard all the buzz about Sandra Bullock's performance in "The Blind Side", I decided that I just had to rent the DVD. Similarly, when I heard all the buzz about papaya, I decided that I just had to try some. Both of those decisions left a bad taste in my mouth.

Perhaps I will post a critique of papaya on some food review site (Rotten Kumquats?), but here I must review films.

Bullock plays Leigh Anne Tuohy, a plucky gun-wielding mom with a lot of spunk (remember what Lou Grant said about spunk?) One day, Leigh Anne notices a behemoth named Michael Oher (played well by Quinton Aaron) walking around shivering and homeless. She invites him to stay overnight in her upscale home.

Now, I don't know about most guys, but if some rich woman that looked like Sandra Bullock invited me to stay overnight in her home, I'd be there faster than a Viagra-laden Superman flying to his date with Lois Lane. However, after a few minutes of listening to Tuohy's junior- high psychology as well as enduring her general all-around annoying personality, I'd be out of there faster than Marjorie Taylor Greene's ouster from a Mensa meeting.

Then there's Bullock's performance itself. I don't know if it suffered from the fact that she was portraying such an irritating person. I was hoping some hulk from the football team would mistake her for a blocking sled and... well, not really. But maybe the fact that the character got under my skin so much says something about Bullock's acting.

I doubt however that this is what was intended by all those involved in making this flick. But even discounting the annoying main character, John Lee Hancock's dull and tedious direction makes this movie hard to bear.

And, by the way, I'm still waiting for the first great football film to be made (the best of the bunch, "Jerry Maguire" (8/10) and "Heaven Can Wait" (8/10), can only marginally be considered football films).

However, I wouldn't be surprised if someone has already made a movie about papaya that is more palatable than "The Blind Side."

Rating: 3/10